#48

Music is a big part of my life it helps in so many ways to me music is a escape from anything I feel but have you ever thought the the second meaning to the music that artist release to the public?

the first song that I listen to a million times is”Jocelyn Flores” – xxtentacion this song has so much emotion to it the artist wrote this song for his friend Jocelyn Amparo Flores a 16 year old girl who committed suicide during a vacation. Xxtentacion uses the song to express him self with the struggle of dealing with the passing of his friend. Jocelyn was a model, fan and a friend of XX but no one knew she was dealing with severe depressions in 2017 was when she had taken her life. in the song he says ” I’m in pain, wanna put 10 shots in my brain I’ve been trippin bout some thing can’t change suicdal same time I’m tame picture this in get a phone call girl you f**** killed herself” he obviously misses this girl so much the rapper was in so much pain when she had passed away at first I thought this song had no meaning but then I read the lyrics and the back story and well I related to it afterwords I realized the meaning to this song I had a friend taken away from suicide as well in 2018 my friend took his life to depression, we got the news at work early morning around 9am I still remember that day like if it happened yesterday I couldn’t believe it he seemed so happy so energetic but no one knew no one asked we all blame ourselves to this day I feel what xx feels 100% I couldnt bare with the pain of it all. this song stays in my playlist because it always reminds me of my friend and I would never want to to forget him and also this song made platinum after it was released I bought the album once it was released in 2017. and still one of my favorite albums of them all he touched a lot of people with his songs because they were all real not just for clout or fame they came from his heart.

Another song that has a lot of meaning to me would be dead inside -xxtentacion that’s another emotional song that tells us more about the artist hurting inside he was suffering but he would have such a great smile to put on for the world we didn’t understand him the song is about the love he had for a girl some say it was for Jocelyn he says in his song ” spend a lot of time stuck in this head of mine” this one quote says so much the artist was a prisoner to his own thoughts he blamed him self for the death of his friends ” where was I” another part of the song where its obvious he wanted to be there with her he loved her many said x was always sad or depressed but no there’s so much heart in his songs it takes you in depth with x he never was hiding his emotions which I admire but at age of 20 x was shot on June 18 2018 his music still will live I will always play his songs he made a huge impact in my life I feel free when I listen its just sad he left so early I wish I could have met him or seen him preform.